Permission not to smile

I want to say that smiling is not a prerequisite for true deep rooted joy. It is a type of emotional outfit for the face that varies in size, shape, style, and transparency. Although it can effectively exude the riches of a joyful spirit, it does not preclude the presence of joy itself when absent. Yes, it is a choice that can override passing sorrows in yourself and encourage lifted spirits in others, so often it is an honorable default. However, please believe me when I tell you that sometimes it may be more beneficial in the long run for both you and me if you give my smile a chance to rest, and my melancholy permission to be however it needs to be, at least for the moment.

Please know that If my smile recedes, the situation may be more nuanced than a game of hide and seek. Do not feel a need to search it out and call it out of its hiding place every time it disappears. It may be that this smile that you are seeking needs a chance to hibernate and recharge, to nourish and regather itself during the passing of a momentary winter. It may be that this smile needs to join a convalescent spirit, to unite and heal in introverted stillness, and the most sensitive solution is to nurse the smile behind a veil of quiet solemnity. It is the restoration of emotional sincerity that strengthens and sharpens the spirit, empowering it for the next time it enters the battlefield of social interaction and relationship (haven't you felt the force of someone else's smile fight on behalf of your weakness?). The spirit will equip this smile with the experience and penetrative depth of honesty, enabling it to reach deep into souls and lightly lift each one, as if with an army of invisible balloons.

So, do not worry if you find me weighed down by contemplative gravity, if my speech does not exude daisies and dancing, and if my countenance does not illuminate an apparent gladness. Please do not force me to take my smile out of its period of withdrawal. I would like to promise you and myself that when one is allowed to intentionally and prudently entertain the process of sorrowing and grieving, one will eventually grasp more greatly the truth of his or her emotions. There is nothing inherently wrong with smiles that pervade and speak effervescently like ripples of a pond or lake. But give my smile a chance to rest, because when it is ready, I need to know that its emergence will emanate with the diffraction of joy, speaking with the sincerity of the sun and peace like an ocean.